she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
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How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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