The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize