Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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