It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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