My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
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