**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
