So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
