I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
