i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
NoShamevember. You game?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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