I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
this is an emotional support booty call
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
