I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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