They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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