is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
