i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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