I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
What a dumb baby whore.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
