I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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