If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
