so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just want to make out with him forever
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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