do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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