lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
