Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
