Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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