Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize