I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize