i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
