i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
