i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
