You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize