did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
