I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Found your dick twin last night
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize