belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
