I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
