im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize