john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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