I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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