Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
