I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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