summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
