The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
