the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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