We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
now i know why i became what i already was.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
