he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
