hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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