I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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