i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
