the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
