god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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