guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
someone owes me an orgasm
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
