Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
