your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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