i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
