Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
