ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
