I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
