I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
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You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize