is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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