he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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