something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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